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25Aug/091

A Primer On Regretting Your Online Prescense

This topic has been coming up a lot lately as the use of twitter and, especially, facebook is becoming more and more ubiquitous. A lot of people are becoming concerned about how their constant updating will be perceived and whether or not they will look back and regret some of their past contributions to the public sphere.

I recently watched Primer, a movie about a group of young entrepreneurs who mistakenly invent a machine that allows you to travel back in time. Once they realized what they invented, they tried to determine how to monitize or sell this important technology. They soon realize that it would be too difficult to sell and potentially dangerous for other people to know about. So they decide to use the technology to game the stock market & become rich (in a nutshell, of course there's more to the story).

What does this have to do with your internet persona & over sharing? Well, a lot of the decisions we make & ideas we harbor are a product of our life experience and our assumptions of our realities based on our understanding of the world. This is inherently a dynamic process and we gain new perspectives of how the world works everyday. So it goes without saying that many of our approaches to life can fundamentally change as new information and understanding come to light, changing our assumptions and ultimately our ideas and philosophies. In the case of Primer, their understand of the world changed in such a drastic way that they were forced to re-evaluate their ethics & morals. Do you tell your angel investor? Do you pitch the technology to VC's or DARPA? Or do you "cheat" the market, become rich and buy a private island in the Caribbean (the whole reason you got into entrepreneurship in the first place)? Does the end justify the means?

This an exciting process that is really interesting to watch unfold. Why should we feel regret? What new experience has reshaped your reality today?

22Jan/092

2008 in Review & Welcome to elliottpayne.com!

2008 was a big year for me, as you might be able to tell by the severe lack of updates to my blog. There's a lot I want to say here but I may have summarize for now.

  • Welcome to elliottpayne.com - First and foremost, I'm switching the blog over to elliottpayne.com. I'm making the move to coincide with some of my earlier thoughts on Web 2.0 and about generating an online presence. In summary, our online persona's and offline persona's need to coalesce as one and we need to move toward a more accurate representation of ourselves regardless of the venue. This move is the beginning of such a transition. I'm not sure how I want to format it, but I want to (either through tags/categories or pages) write posts that represent my various interests, mainly separated by the following categories: personal, professional, and creative.
  • Holy career change batman! – 2008 was punctuated by a massive career move for me. I went from being a manufacturing engineer in a dysfunctional working environment (let alone all the damn metal shavings that would always get stuck in my shoes) to a business consultant for a software company. I posted briefly about this right when it happened, but this is such a huge deal for me. This was always one of my dream jobs, and something that I was hoping to be able to someday do after I finished my MBA and here I am, still a year away from graduating, already at the “promise land.”
  • What economic downturn? – Consultants get paid significantly more than engineers. Just an FYI. So when the news broke that we were basically going back to the stone-age, I was getting on a plane to fly to a client and getting paid much more than I used to in the process. Of course the fantasy of a dream job and the reality of that same job are never in alignment. I’ve been traveling 100% (gone Monday through Friday, home on weekends) since the end of September. The pay bump for consulting isn’t because it’s difficult (it’s challenging no doubt, but in a fun way), it’s because I’ve spent more time with the bartender at a stupid micro-brewery in a dingy suburb of Philadelphia than my charming, lovely, wildly creative, stunningly sexy, scientifically genius, philosophically wonderful, and intellectually stimulating girlfriend in the last few months. There’s no free lunch here. Sacrifices are being made, but I have hopes and dreams beyond making money, so I’m hoping everything pays off in the end. Besides, student loans are no joke, gotta make it up somehow!
  • We got a puppy – Miyagi is the most awesomest laid back Chinese Crested you’ll ever meet. And I’m glad he keeps my lady company while I’m away. He’s also damn adorable (and I’m comfortable admitting it).
Miyagi!

Miyagi!

  • I sold my CRX – Seems like a piece of minutia at first glance, but this car has meant a lot to me. One of the things that motivated me to go to engineering school in the first place was my first passion of car racing. I used to literally close my eyes and imagine myself taking laps around Nürburgring when I would get stuck on a thermodynamics or deformable body mechanics problem and not have an answer after 4+ hours of really intensive work on just one problem (man those classes sucked). I’d close my eyes and remind myself of why I was putting myself through the pain and the hell of it all. A very momentous chapter of my life closes with the sale of this fine automobile. Gladly, it goes to the home of another car enthusiast and hopefully I’ll be able to grace the wheel some day at a future autocross.

I used the proceeds to fund my latest passion of photography and bought myself a new D-SLR, then banked the rest. This was also the first major step of uncluttering my life and putting more focus on what matters to me. I will return another day to racing (the WRX is pretty damn fun to drive too), but I need to focus on priorities right now.

So you can see 2008 was pretty big year for me. And I think it’s also pretty apparent why I haven’t been updating at all. I’m starting to adjust to the travel, so I’m hoping to work the blog into my routine.

I’m a fairly active blog reader, so I’ve installed a widget to the right that shows my shared google reader articles. If I haven’t been updating in while, at least check out some of the things I’ve been following out in the ether. At times, that says more about me than anything I write.

23Sep/084

Getting Comfortable With Uncomfortable

I find the fact that I'm sitting at a bar an hour outside of boston sipping on a mezcal margarita an interesting metaphor for this post. I'm on my second client for as many months as I've been working at my new job. My earlier posts indicate how big a leap this job has been for me, and the fact that I've been sitting face to face with customers almost every week since I've started working here is testamount to that fact.

This has been a great challange for in ways that I haven't really experienced before. Even as I struggled through the rigger of engineering school, I felt like I was just going through the motions. It wasn't easy, but for some reason it felt more effortles. I've travelled for professional reasons before but I've never had the stakes of missing a wife (for all intents & purposes) before; I've never questioned my descisions before either.

I'm being pushed to limits that I feel I've never been pushed to before; personally and professionally. Stress is building, I miss my girlfriend, and I have a deliverable due that is barely defined... Yet, some how, I feel envigorated by this?

Sometimes it's hard to know what you're capable of until you're forced to perform. And I think it's at the point where you're just about to crack where you're able to see how much you can grow.

I might as well put down my phone, eat my diner, and get to finishing my accounting homework. And look forward to the day that I get to benefit from all this.

15Aug/081

HOW A New Job Can Make You Happier

I kept my last post brief because it had been so long since I posted, I wanted to at least give a quick update. Now that I'm back on the horse, I want to spend a little time on the How. Some people say that you shouldn't put so much emotional real estate into a job, and that career satisfaction is as much about your state of mind as it is what you actually do: I fully agree with that sentiment, but I think there are some other factors involved as well.

Focus on the context

Sometimes a new job is needed because your current job is so depressing, sometimes a new opportunity presents itself and is such a good fit for you and your goals that you can't pass it up. There are many driving factors that affect your emotional relationship with your job and why you might need a new one.

Your current job sucks!

  • Toxic environment - sometimes the environment you work in is so dysfuctional that you come home stressed out, depressed, and exausted just from having to put up with the people you work with. This is one of those self evident things (hopefully) that should be easy to spot in the wild.
  • No respect - similar to toxic environment, but can exist in its own right. You don't need to be admired by your colleges and adored by your superiors, but you should be able to at least be treated like a human.
  • Dead end - and lastly, a job doesn't have to be a torture chamber of an experience, sometimes the opportunity cost of staying at a job can set you back for years and really put a hamper on your long term goals and happiness.

The new opportunity is so much better than what you do now:

  • An offer you can't refuse - Whether you've been on an agressive job search for months or an aquaintance you met last week offers you an amazing job out of nowhere; sometimes it doesn't matter how good or bad your current job is, an opportunity presents itself that is SO great that it's a no brainer to move on and progress your career to the next level.
  • You know what you want - And what you're doing right now ain't it.  Getting a job in the field you want will, by definition, place you in a happier environment unless...
  • You don't know what you want - You don't like what you're doing now, but have no idea what you'd rather do instead.  This is your opportunity to experiment! You might come across a new line of work that really inspires you.  What's the worst thing that could happen?  You get another crappy job?  Quit and start all over again.

Well there you have it.  A short list of items that I've found true to my job/happiness hunting experience.  I'm still in the honeymoon phase right now though, so check back in a couple months and see how happy I am.  But the fact of the matter is that all jobs have their down points, but the key is to know when those down points have crossed a line and be keen to when that happens.

20Jul/081

A New Job CAN Make You Happier

Well, it's been a long journey (7 months to be exact), but I finally made it! I started a couple of weeks ago as a business consultant for a large software firm. I pretty much kept my job search to myself over that time and I wasn't just looking for a new job, I was looking for a new direction for life.

I just got back in town from training and it's good to be back. I just want to post a quick update and let you know I haven't died.

Next time around I'll tell you how a new job can make you happier, not just that it does.

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10Jun/081

Youth is Wasted on the Young

I always thought this quote was kind of funny and peculiar, I always thought it reeked of envy; yet I secretly wished I could somehow join this exclusive club, whose right of passage was simply the passing of time, to gain a deeper understanding of it. I was born in '81, just at the cusp of what they're calling Gen-Y; hell, I graduated H.S. in 2000 so that kind of makes me the official first wave of millennials huh?

Well, that means I'll be 27 this year and closer to 30 than to 20, so I recently had my first youth is wasted on the young moment. I was making my way to the radio station (on campus) and it was around that time of year when all of the freshmen and sophomores (i.e. the youngin's) were clearing out of the dorms; I saw a group of really young one's (it's crazy how obviously young people look in their late teens/early twenties) lallygagging outside, all care free and purple haired as they want, and I thought to myself "those bastards don't know how good they have it!" That's because I was running late and all stressed out because I was doing the radio Saturday evenings, working 40+ hours a week, and going to grad school on weeknights all at the same time: I was self admittedly envious of the fact that they had no pressing matters, they had no monkey on their back flinging poo at ever turn of life. As far as they were concerned, all they had to do was worry about getting their crap out by some arbitrary cutoff day.

Then I had to take a step back away from the situation and slap myself in the face to bring myself back to reality. By the time I finished my undergrad I'd been to Beijing, Taiwan (twice), lived on the east coast, lived on the west coast, fallen in love, gotten my heart broken, partied a lot, made wonderful wonderful friends... Long story short, I had a really sweet, kick-ass time in college.

The lesson learned is that life is wasted on the living.

It is every person's responsibility to live life right now. I think the author's heart was in the right place when he coined this phrase, but I think he lets himself and generations of people off the hook by placing the blame on a risk free (and therefore reward free) life on the naiveté of youth. I also have to give credit where credit is due; perhaps the genius of this quote is that young people will hear it and take a moment to reflect on their lives and, in an attempt to spite the generation that proceeds them, get up and actually do something with their lives.

One can only hope.